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Thursday, August 25, 2005


Now I’ve not really talked about the Tory leadership contest on my own site before, but I’ve stuck my oar in when others have brought the subject up, today I thought it about time to rectify this. Not least because the alternative is complaining about the growing ease of obtaining a GCSE, you don’t want to read about that and I don’t want to write about it.

The new Leader, will be chosen in October, god willing, and even if you are not that interested in the contest, even if you are not a Tory at all (Those of you who are not, I congratulate you on being here, I know it can be difficult to read a blog written by a man who does not share one’s own ideology) you ought to learn a little. Y’see, the choosing next leader of the Conservatives is of critical importance to Albion, nay, to Europe and the world.

If the next Leader is a good man, a popular and wise statesman then people will vote for him. He will be elected, the Tories will have power, the EU will find opposition where now they find welcome, the state shall be just a little les of a nanny, and all will be right with the world. If the next Leader is a poor candidate, then Brown will be elected, the planets shall align and Satan will begin his thousand-year rule of the Earth.

Hyperbole aside, it seems obvious that Labour are the default victors of the next election, unless the Conservatives can furnish us a truly worthy candidate, hence, we must watch the contest carefully, since it is this very contest which shall ultimately decide our next Prime Minister.

Obviously, the name on everyone’s lips is David Davis, currently Shadow Home Secretary. That’s not snow on the roof, that’s cotton wool leaking from his head – in your Author’s opinion. Make no mistake, the man has ambition, and he’s a fine tactical sense, but he is not fit to govern. Not that I’d say it to his face you understand, If Davis hits a man, he don’t get back up again.

If not a Davis backer, most people will generally claim allegiance to Liam Fox, Shadow Foreign Secretary, your humble obedient among them. Our Doctor Fox has something the Tories have lacked since the good old days of the Iron Lady, charisma. It is a sad fact that elections are won by men (/women) not parties, and Fox is the man to do it. He might be a Scot, but he is a proper right-wing euroskeptic and not one to be bound by political correctness neither - you might remember many years ago there was a group of pop-tarts calling themselves the ‘Spice Girls’, or to use Fox’s nomenclature ‘three dogs and a blackbird’. Naturally this made a lot of people angry, but it made the silent majority laugh (quietly)

The third big hitter in the race is Sir Malcom Rifkind, Shadow Work & Pensions Secretary. He’s a good politician, but just a little wet for the leadership I deem. He’d probably do rather well as a chancellor though, just a hunch, you heard it here first.

Should Dr. Fox find himself the Leader this October, I can well envision him defeating Labour. He has shown a strong anti-Europe streak which will keep people from wasting their votes on UKIP (I’d vote for them if it were not a waste) Veritas and sundry other euroskeptic parties, and as a Scot he will appeal to the haggis fanciers who essentially decided the last election (nope, I haven’t forgiven yee yet jimmy). Shoulod Davis win, I fear we will be doomed to Prime Minister (President) Brown – and eventual membership of (occupation by) the United States of Europe.

This leadership competition really is that critical.
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